Clown Face
Hello how are you? Welcome? It was a pleasure helping you today! The mask, one big mask it seems almost cruel to have to smile happy when you feel like you dying inside. When the only thing you want to do is stick your head in the darkest place and close off from the rest of the world. When it feels like someone kicked a hole in your chest and you take deep breaths throughout the day to hold the tears back. Those 5 min bathroom breakdowns just don’t seem like enough. When you have that kool aid smile going but you rather go through death than to have to deal with what’s going on inside. I’m tired, I’m frustrated, I’m hurt, I’m angry, I’m sad AND I WANT TO SHOW IT!!!! I don’t wanna be encouraging today my soul hurts and I can’t let it out because I have to work both jobs. I don’t have a positive post for you today readers. I only have a rapid fire of emotions but why am I so emotional, men shouldn’t be emotional. I wanna scream and punch the wall. I have feelings and they are caged. I don’t wanna be at work but circumstances say I have to be. I don’t even want anyone preaching about faith, I love God and I’m sure he feels my pain today. I just wanna ball up in a corner…no I’m not the person to go and do something bad to myself I won’t I have children they need me. I don’t wanna wear this clown’s mask today my acting isn’t as sharpe today. I have been up for a full 24 hours my hurt won’t let me sleep. If I’m going through this somewhere somebody else is and they won’t make. They won’t be able to take it. A zombie I am today, a walking dead person that’s just acting like he is living. That’s about a conglomeration of tears and hurt while I mourn in silence on a lunch break in a car. Well “life is a journey it’s …….nawl not today bye readers 😔.
Coffee Brown Brother 