Do I Need to go to Sex Addiction Rehab :-(…..
Its 0253 am in the morning and I am sitting up. I can’t sleep, I’m frustrated, and my mind is driving me crazy. We just did it last night (thinking to myself), but I am as frustrated as if we didn’t. I even took allergy medicine to make me go to sleep as you can see it’s not working. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It’s not even like I want to do it with anyone else just her. Now I’m sitting here knowing I will smoke about half this pack of cigs because I can’t get what I want. I know what you are thinking, “Hey there is always masturbation”, but that just won’t substitute what I am craving. See here is the problem for two days straight now with some annoyances nothing major we have been able to talk and get along. We even had Bible study today and just yesterday we went to church. The good thing is that we actually seem like two people that can enjoy each other, but the bad thing is getting along and connecting has a tendency to remind you of why you love a person. I don’t know about other men but the more I feel closer to my lady emotionally, the more I crave sex with her. This is when the sexual want is not in the lower area but actually in your head (the one you think with). This is why masturbation would be useless. Honestly, I want it every night but what man doesn’t. I didn’t ask for it because I don’t want to seem selfish plus I am the type of person to not ask because of the fear of hearing, “No not tonight”, but tonight is the perfect night!
Do I have a problem? Maybe I should ask God to help with this. I literally cannot sleep and she can just lay down talk a little while going into sleep mode. Sex has been a major problem in our relationship but mostly because we did not get along. There were times that this was a big reason that I rebelled and did stupid stuff like stay out till 6 in the morning. I want to be better this time but WoW trying to be considerate and good in a relationship is not as easy as it looks. I know ladies you are probably thinking that if you love her then you would. Well, that is not the case, it is not that I won’t do it but it almost seems like I’m trying to get over an addiction. I’m actually shaky and frustrated as if my whole day went bad even though it didn’t. What to do….what to do…..what to do….I know I will write a blog!!! It’s a good way to get some frustrations out but I am still craving. Oh well now to the balcony to pace back and forth like a shell shocked military veteran….So until then remember life is a journey but it is up to you to make that journey a magical one.
Coffee Brown Brother 
You are right. I’m not afraid of connecting just afraid it won’t happen like that again. I know we should look for the positive but after four years with a lot of misunderstandings it gets scary. I have gotten a lot of rejection in the past and sex being a routine thing is like seeing a unicorn, once in a lifetime. It is typical but I wonder if the frustration and being unable to sleep is signs of that.