The Ball and Chain

Do you have that five-year boyfriend settled with your relationship? Does he tend to try to down grade one of the greatest events in God’s eyes? Does a feud suddenly breakout when the topic of Marriage comes up? Why should you have to go to war with someone who you have put your all into? Come on, you feel like you have given this man every ounce of proving to him that you want to be with him for the rest of your life. Suddenly, one day that five-year relationship takes a turn for the worst. The man you have been planning the rest of your life with has either dumped you or messed up big time. You are done! He has done it now and there is no more room in your mind to marry this man. Afterward, You and he have a little conversation but the usual dry break up conversation. Then out of the blue it seems that he has had this sudden epiphany and wants to be the man you have been on his back about being for the majority of your relationship. He even has the nerve to talk marriage!!!

Why? After all this time you have been to a point where you would marry this man on any day of the week,but he waits until he screws up to decide that he wants to marry you now. I know what you are thinking, he only wants to marry you now because he has screwed up and he has not learned his lesson. In some cases that may be true but what I want you to do is stop and read how some of us as men think. See with some of us certain realities have to come to play. What reality you ask, the reality of living life without a woman he loves. Some of us men have to go through these situations because we think that we can live a life without the woman we love. It takes a moment when a man sits down and realize that the woman he has wronged was the woman that keeps him going. It takes a lesson from God to show that man there is no other woman who gives him that complete feel of purpose in his life. Is this behavior good? No it is stupid of us but when marriage is brought up to some of us we get scared. We are insecure creatures and fear the unknown. It is a stage of growth maybe a stage you as a woman can do without because of the pain you suffered through it but for some of us guys it is a much-needed lesson. I always say to people it takes the really bad times to learn true appreciation for the good times and this is needed at times for that man to learn that he needs you. It is a process that once it happens we as men will never forget how it was without you. You don’t deserve it as a loving woman because your intentions are not evil but men don’t stop and think enough to pay attention to that. I want you to know that for some men what happens is once it hits us that we need this woman, we look for immediate security. What security would be greater than getting married? Looking to make the statement that he and she will be together for the rest of their lives. So before you completely cut him out after he seems to blow the relationship and then wants the commitment, know that there is a possibility that God has made a situation to play out like it did to create a greater growth in that man. Ultimately, the decision is yours ladies and it is to be made with clear thoughts so until then, always remember that life is a journey but it is up to you to make that journey a magical one.

~ by Coffee Brown Brother on 09/13/2012.